The Model Train Enthusiast Lyrics

Johnny is 45
and henpecked since day one
he has always sought solace in his model trains
& classic rock.

He watches proudly as his Hornby R3223
chugs through another tunnel.

That cunt, Sophie smashes his serenity
like an anvil dropped on a champagne glass

she is shouting again
she won’t take no for an answer
and she hoovers loudly at
inconvenient times

she wants him to clean the house again
because his previous attempt did not reach
her standards.

“Don’t let ’em put you down,
don’t let ’em push you ’round”

– Rod Stewart echo’s through the radio.

Something snaps.

Inspector Smith finds Sophie, 8 days later,
lying naked with her throat cut
and a toy train with two carriages
pushed up her

“This is the 5th one that we’ve found like this in a week”